I was born somewhere, but grew up in several places.
Along the way, I spent many years in many colleges to think about what I saw.
I believe that visual arts is trace to reveal the Episteme of the era. Such an idea drew me into the field of art and visual culture studies.
As my interest inspires, I visualize, document, exhibit or publish.
: "nothing," 1933, slang, introduced by Hemingway, from Spanish
nada "nothing," from Latin (res) nata "small, insignificant thing,"
literally "(thing) born," from natus, past participle of nasci "to be
born" (Old Latin gnasci), from PIE root *gene- "give birth, beget."
It was only a little while ago, that I realized I am in love with them. We did
an experiment. I stood behind the one-way mirror which they looked into
themselves. They projected their eager desires, immersed in adorning
themselves. Perhaps, I envied them, a little. As always, I was observing and
documenting them, hiding behind the mirror. Series of images started to
pile up in my mind, and only one thing became clear. It became clear that
my gaze of censorship would not stop the meaningless scissoring, and that
my perception would have to follow my habit of limiting and scissoring
what to accept of them. This is how we have revealed, fought, and collided
with each other. So, this work, is the by-product of such process. The by-
products pile up, and I look into them. It was only a little while ago, that I
realized I am in love with them.
He seemed gay. He was seated next to me at the classroom of graduate
school. He was a hard person to simply place inside the box that says ‘gay.’
It was not because of his foregin accent, his exotic looks or the
symbolic accessories which I could not recognize. When he put on the
makeups for Drag performance, he turned into someone who confuses me
even more. I tried to put them in the box that says ‘Drag Queen,’ but they
did not have the thick lips, or exaggerated cheekbones. They weren’t
simply headed towards the femininity. I have failed to define. It was
uncanny. It was a strong resistance against my perception. But not too
long later, I even taxidermied them on top of my images. I have decided to
photograph all the attempts of reflections that are doomed to the failure.
Quite a long time have passed since the first time I saw him. Perhaps,
I have yet to face him. Could it be my chronic disease? That I end up
projecting myself on him, even when I am looking at him, that I
persistently try to look at me in the end? Every time I had to adapt to the
new surroundings after following my parents to the new city, I had to see
and read other people. For me, seeing means observing other people’s
desires. And seeing is to be melted into the surroundings. The seeing has
reached my own self now.